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How authentic are our connections, really?
Genuine connection—both with ourselves and others—holds the power to transform not just our work lives but our well-being too.
I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Jennifer Hill, an entrepreneur who stepped away from her legal recruiting company in 2018 and now channels her energy into fostering connections through her SaaS company, Optimatch, and her podcast, “Regarding Consciousness.”
Inspired by her mission to connect 1 billion people deeply to themselves and others, Jennifer’s insights are a must-hear for all leaders aiming for personal and organizational growth.
Jennifer sheds light on what she calls the “golden triangle of connection”—connecting to oneself, to others, and to one’s purpose.
The Power of Self-Connection
In our post-COVID era, where loneliness became an epidemic, this concept couldn’t be more applicable. Jennifer points out that true connection begins with self-awareness and self-care. It’s not about hyper-productivity; it’s about tuning inwards and understanding your own emotional landscape.
Actionable Steps:
- Practice Heart-Focused Breathing: Pause and take a few deep breaths, focusing on your heart. This simple exercise calms the amygdala, the part of your brain responsible for stress responses, and prepares you for clearer thinking.
- Engage in “Box Breathing”: A technique you can use anytime you’re stressed. Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, and hold once more for four.
By managing your stress responses, you create a foundation for meaningful connections and improved decision-making.
Connecting to Others Through Compassionate Communication
Jennifer is a firm advocate of clear, compassionate communication, emphasizing its importance even in challenging scenarios like firing an employee.
She shares a technique she learned, which involves gradually increasing pressure when expectations aren’t met, avoiding abrupt, reactionary decisions. This method not only preserves relationships but fosters a respectful workplace atmosphere.
Try This Approach:
- Progressive Pressure: Instead of giving an immediate “no” or reprimand, discuss gradual areas of improvement and give the opportunity for change. Reframe the ask by breaking up the desired result into smaller steps.
- Clarification Process: Make sure both parties understand expectations, especially on timing for re-evaluation and consequences clearly, ensuring there are no misunderstandings.
By refining your communication strategy, you create an environment of trust and clarity, making hard conversations a bit easier and far more productive.
Connecting Your Team Through a Shared Purpose
Jennifer emphasizes embracing curiosity and understanding what motivates your team. Working together to identify a mission unites the team with overlapping values and objectives.
Google’s Project Aristotle study backs this up, highlighting the importance of psychological safety in team performance. By valuing cognitive diversity and encouraging team members to share their unique perspectives, leaders can cultivate a more innovative and collaborative environment unifying the team in the pursuit of a shared goal.
Actionable Steps:
- Create a Shared Purpose: Collaborate with the team to identify group goals and how to leverage the diversity of skills and perspectives to achieve them.
- Proactive Confrontation: Before addressing a team conflict, envision how the conversation will play out for all parties and see if it’s the right time to discuss it. What are the underlying needs, and can you get to place to address them?
- Recognition of Motivators: Use tools like the Enneagram to understand core drivers within your team and align motivations.
Bridging Connection Gaps Through Perception
Both Jennifer and I agree on the limits of human perception. We often see the world through a narrow spotlight, missing out on broader perspectives. This can impact us in all points of Jennifer’s golden triangle.
When we seek to recognize our limitations, we can uncover potential blind spots, and then work to counter them.
Action Points for Leaders:
- Stay Curious: Always ask questions to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the team dynamics.
- Embrace Diversity: Foster an environment where different perspectives are celebrated and explored.
Jennifer Hill breaks down the need for connection and how to achieve it in a meaningful way.
Jennifer also shares…
- How addressing internal issues can prevent ineffective decision-making.
- Techniques for managing conflict by understanding differing team motivators.
- The importance of seeing others as their younger selves to foster empathy.